Thursday, April 24, 2008

The Spelling Techniques of Chennai

I've recently moved to Chennai where I'd be taking up a new job. For the unitiated , Chennai is the southern most metropolitan of India. Everyone who gets to know of my current abode greets me with a "Tch tch.. I am so sorry for you" expression /tone.

I have no idea why they do so. In fact I dont even want to know.

One of the first things I noticed about this place is the way people spell here. Every proper noun with a "t" has to be spelt so as to make one throw the maximum spit out of one's mouth when pronounced- A deadly weapon to keep people from asking your name if you carry a "t" in yours.

E.g. Savita is spelled as S-A-V-I-T-H-A ,Gita is spelled as G-I-T-H-A and so on.

Although it is predominant in proper nouns, this technique of spelling/pronouncing is also efficiently utlized in other types of words or sentences. E.g. Common nouns : K-U-T-H-E! or B-A-T-H-A-M-E-E-Z (You get to call people names and also spit on them in disdain here)

At times, an extra "h" could also be added to an unsuspecting letter when there arent enough opportunities (i.e, "t"s) to spit while one says something. I could notice this only for hindi sentences since I am not familiar with Tamil.

E.g. "THumhara naam kHyaa hai" or for that matter - "THum THo thehre PHardesi, saath KHyaa nibhaoge"

All in all a brilliant idea to take people by surprise and moisturize their faces. As someone who practices this technique, you also stand a fair chance of being remembered as " The person who THOOK on the world"

My advice to all who enjoy this spitting act is "Spit thrills but Kills!" - Very original one would say.

Anyway, I am still in the process of dicovering the reason for this peculiar spelling technique in this part of the country. Any comments to enlighten me here are most welcome.

With warm and wet regards,

The Blah Man

P.S: Please ensure that your comments do not carry a lot of depth. I express my absolute inability in deciphering such comments